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Our Cruise 2009! Days 1 - 2

Hiya, all!

So, since we're now back from our fabulous 7 day Bahamas cruise, I see that it is my duty as scribe for the Bradshaw family to record the events that took place while we were otherwise unavailable.  Sidenote, pictures are below, at the bottom. 

Oh, and, sidenote, read this from top to bottom.  It works that way.  (As opposed to the first time I tried to post about a trip, the Disney Trip.)

 Day 1 – Saturday (embarking): "So, this bed can hold a person?"

On Saturday, we left the house about 1.30/2.00-ish to head to the port to board our ship, the Norwegian Majesty.  Upon getting close to the port, we discovered that, due to some serious fog, everything was delayed.  We sat dead stopped in traffic waiting to enter the port terminal until close to 3.30; we were supposed to leave at 4.00pm.  Needless to say, that didn't happen.  The ship was then told that, because of the fog, it couldn't leave port.  We finally left Charleston at 6.00 or 6.30pm Saturday night.  Once we got onto the boat, we made our way to the Bradshaw suite, our postage stamp sized stateroom, room 926 on deck 9, Norway Deck.  No, seriously, it was a bit bigger than a postage stamp.  The bathroom wasn't, but...  Anyway, there were two twin beds and two fold-down bunk beds that were attached to the walls by hinges.  Allie, my darling genius sibling, saw the beds, realized that she was sleeping in a bunk and made the most brilliant statement of the whole cruise.  She pulled a bunk down, put a little pressure on it, and said, "So, this bed can hold a person?"  Not a statement.  A question.  It was fantastic.  We went up on deck and ate.  I kid you not, we weren’t on the boat an hour and we were eating, and more than that… Dad went and grabbed a hamburger, which they were grilling on a barbeque.  Because he was hungry, he woofed it down.  Now, for those of you who are thinking clearly, eating really really fast is not the best plan ever.  Needless to say, it came back up, very quickly.  Within two minutes of eating the burger, it came back up… in his hand… which he then proceeded to finish regurgitating the disgusting remains into a garbage can marked “Plastic only”.  No, I can’t make this stuff up.  After completing our meal, we returned to the stateroom to unpack a few things.  After that, we went down to deck 6, where a small theater was located.  The production crew put on a nice little opening variety show, with music, and lights, and singing, and dancing.  Also, there was a comedian who was to perform later in the week, as well as a few musicians who would be performing onboard.  The entertainment on this ship was actually of a much better quality than I had thought it would be.  So, that was fun.  We then went back to the room after the show and went to bed, knowing that we had a couple days to just explore the boat at our leisure.

Day 2 - Sunday (at sea): Getting in the swing of things

So, Sunday was our first day on board.  We were at sea all day, so, basically, we spent the day doing pretty much nothing.  When we got up, we all got ready, a tricky process with four of us and a pint-sized bathroom.  We headed up to deck 10, where a buffet resided.  Dad scouted out other stuff on the ship while Mom, Allie, and I just chilled on the deck in the sun, reading.  It was truly a nice afternoon.  We returned to the room and got all dolled up, so that we could get some nicer pictures with all of us, before we got too tired, or had too long days to want to get all nice to take pictures.  That night, after dinner on deck 5, in a nice little restaurant called the Seven Seas, we went back up to deck 6 for another show, this time one composed of music from Broadway shows.  Again, it was really a nice show, very well done.  Some excellent singers, dancers, and musicians on that boat, to be sure.  Randomly, Allie had a hard time remembering which direction our room was, so we were heading towards our room, trying to decide which way she thought it was.  Dad turned her in the correct direction, and she was all, I knew that.  Dad responded with “Really?”  Allie said, “Si” (yes in Spanish).  Mom said, “Oui” (yes in French).  There was a brief silence.  Simultaneously, both Mom and Allie said, “Queso” (cheese in Spanish), a reference to another Bradshaw joke.  (Queso, it’s cheese… in Spanish.  See other blog entries on stupid Bradshaw statements for more info.)  The running joke for the week seemed to be that, if all else failed, “The Dark Knight,” the newest Batman movie, would be on the ship’s onboard channel.  So, we returned to the room and watched a little of “The Dark Knight” before going to bed, knowing we had to get up early the next morning.  

Days 3 - 5

Day 3 - Monday (Great Stirrup Cay): A four mile hike… right…

Okay, so, we woke up a little early so that we could head out to Norwegian’s private island, Great Stirrup Cay.  We were docked just off-shore, so we had to take a ferry over from the boat to the island.  Mom and I had an excursion booked for that day, our first.  When we arrived at the island, she and I headed over to a little cabana where the excursions were set up.  One word: parasailing.  It was AMAZING!  We rode out with these two local guys, to older gentlemen from Charleston, WV, and a mom and her two daughters.  The two older guys went up first.  It was warm, and the day was perfect for something like that.  When they came down after between 7 and 10 minutes in the air, it was Mom and me’s turn.  I sat in the front and she sat behind me.  They took off and sent us flying.  It was breathtaking.  So quiet.  And the water was so clear that, even where we were high in the air, it was like you could see the bottom.  We could see the entire island and went close to our boat.  When they were pulling us down, we got a nice cold dip in the water, thanks to our boat driver, and much to the cheering of the other passengers on the boat.  Overall, just so fantastic; I can’t put it into words.  The other members of our party went and then we were sent on a speed ride back to the beach.  On the way, we saw some real-life flying fish.  These little things shoot out of the water and take off across the top of the water, wings/fins flapping, like 200 feet at a go, best we can figure.  Once we arrived back to the beach, we met up with Allie and Dad and the three girls got set up on the beach, while Dad went and found a hammock to nap in.  There was reading, and sunning, and Mom and Allie sat in the water for awhile, in beach chairs of course.  After a little while, we all decided to look around a few little shops near the beach and saw a sign for a lighthouse.  So, the sign says that the lighthouse is 2 miles, which would mean a 4 mile trip all-around.  We set out.  Mile one wasn’t bad.  By mile 1.5, it was hot, we couldn’t see the lighthouse, and we weren’t sure we were going to make it.  Randomly, about 1.25 miles in, we pass this seven-foot by seven-foot piece of concrete with white lines painted on it; next to it was a sign that read, “Great Stirrup Cay International Airport,” above signs that said arrival and departure – an idea of a joke in the Bahamas.  Frankly, it was a nice break in the tree monotony that had been the rest of the hike.  We finally saw the lighthouse, which was, literally, just a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere, nothing else around it.  We had been told that there was a stunning little cove just down from the lighthouse, so we walked another quarter-mile down to the cove, which was beautiful.  It was totally empty of people and we just marveled at the quiet and the clear water and fish.  A perfect little area.  Then… yup… we hiked back.  4 miles, round trip.  Good times.  When we got back to the beach, we went back to the ferry, then the boat.  After getting cleaned up, we went down to dinner at the Seven Seas.  Post-dinner, we went to hear a comedian, Sam Griesbaum (no joke), who was the entertainment for the night, a pretty funny guy.  Between the two shows that he would do for the night (one at 7.30 and one at 9.45), there was bingo.  We decided we wanted to play.  We lost.  Not much more to say.  Then, because of being drained by the evil sun, we all watched a little “The Dark Knight” went to bed early.

Day 4 - Tuesday (Nassau/Atlantis): You thought the walk yesterday was bad…

We had to be up and on the dock at 9.15am, which was great for everyone, but we were there.  Dad forgot a hat and had to go back to get one, shocker.  We followed a guide around, through a little marketplace and customs, to a ferry to take us over to Paradise Island, where the Atlantis hotel and casino is located.  The islands are right next to each other, so the boat trip was only 10 or 15 minutes.  We knew that the area was spread out, but we had no idea.  After following a quick-footed little tour-guide through the area, we ended up at a beach, where we could spend the day, or we could wander the property.  Originally, we had planned to walk around for awhile, then chill on the beach, possibly.  We slogged down the beach to put our towels down, and I literally mean slogged, because the sand is imported, making it thick and extremely hard to walk through.  We headed back out to the path, away from the beach, and walked out to examine the map and explore.  We, obviously, were not comprehending that, when the ferry guide told us that the property sat on something like 500 acres, that was a lot of ground to cover.  And we did.  Multiple times.  Needless to say, the entire complex is stunning, composed of penthouses, two hotels, a timeshare area, waterslides, pools, aquariums with lots of fish/sharks/etc, and a multitude of shops and restaurants.  Everything is beautiful and there was much picture taking as we explored.  However, no one thought about us walking that much, so none of us had donned the appropriate footwear.  Pain ensued.  There was taking off of flip-flops and treading on hard concrete.  Much pain.  The entire place is meant to be like what Atlantis could/might have been like, including ruins for aquariums, temples for waterslides, random statues and symbols everywhere.  Included in such statues is one composed solely of these sculpted clear crystals – total value: $1 million.  Yup, you read that right.  For one sculpture.  Other than the walking thing, it was a nice day to walk around the area.  We went through a little tourist-y shopping type area just outside the Atlantis and got ice cream, which was yum.  We took the ferry back to Nassau, deciding to walk around the straw market for awhile before we went back to the ship.  When I say straw market, the old one got burnt down last year and they have relocated.  The space is probably the size of a block, one-story building.  Crammed in this space, probably a hundred to a hundred and fifty vendors have set up stalls in long, thin aisles, basically on top of each other.  Very VERY crowded, particularly for the claustrophobic like myself.  Allie got a nice knock-off Coach bag for next to nothing; mom got a cute giraffe and red print Dooney and Bourke bag for cheap, and I got a Prada knock-off for very little.  None of them were real, but that doesn’t really matter, now does it?  After the exhaustion of the day, we barely made it back to the boat and, after getting cleaned up, we went to get dinner and headed back to the room, where we proceeded to read and watch “Ghostrider”, then “The Dark Knight”.  HAHAHA.  Then bed.  Yay.

Day 5 - Wednesday (Freeport/Port Lucaya): Way, hey, and up she rises…

Mom and I had an excursion early, with shopping and a tour, while Dad and Allie’s left a little later, to go snorkeling.  We all ate breakfast before going our separate directions.  Mom and I boarded a bus, driven by Roly Poly Alexander Junior, which then proceeded to take us to three stops. We learned random facts along the way.  I will share them with you like they were shared with us.  Freeport/Lucaya is actually a privately owned, leased property, currently on year 53 of a 99-year lease, by a lumber company.  Once you buy a piece of property, if it is privately owned, you don’t have a time limit with which to build on it, you can take forever… the government wants natives to own their own homes.  The people build their own foundations with materials produced on the island, then move into shacks created on the property, pouring their previous rent money into buying the imported materials for the roof and windows and doors.  In Freeport/Lucaya, you drive on the wrong side of the road, the left side, but, since cars have to be imported, you can drive on either the left or right side of the car (the steering wheel can be on either side).  Price of gas is currently lower there than it has been in 8 years, at 3.00 a gallon; two weeks ago, it was at 5.75 a gallon.  Natives can be arrested for gambling in the casinos built on the islands (a $300 fine for the first time, then jail time); they have to gamble in their own gambling houses set up in the ghetto.  On a given Sunday morning, 80% of the businesses are closed and 75% of those people are in church – mostly Baptist, not Catholic.  Because Hurricane Francis poured over between 5 and 6 feet of water on the Bahamas and left Freeport standing in that water for months, there are hotels and buildings just standing empty – one hotel that employed 1300 people never reopened after the hurricane because of the standing water.  Average pay is between $5 and $9 per hour.  Wow, you had enough yet?  So, our first stop was the Freeport Farmer’s Market.  There was pretty much a lot of the same stuff as in Nassau’s farmer’s market, so Mom and I walked across the street to a bakery.  We bought this huge cinnamon bun… SO GOOD!  The next stop we made was to Taino Beach, a popular, local, public beach.  We didn’t stay there long, but it was a beautiful spot.  We proceeded to our last stop at Port Lucaya Marketplace, which is basically a loose collection of shops and stalls in this strip.  Surprisedly, we bumped into Allie and Dad there.  Apparently, due to some high winds, they didn’t get to go snorkeling, so, thanks to my brilliant sibling, they caught a taxi and headed to where the cabbie told them we were most likely to be.  We all wandered around; I bought a hat (because I kept getting sunburned, particularly when we go to the beach).  Finally, we told Allie and Dad that we’d meet them at the boat and headed back, via bus again.  After cleaning up and eating, again, we chilled for awhile before dinner and a show.  We were expecting to see a juggler which, when you consider that the theater had ceilings that were only 8 feet, would have been entertaining in itself.  However, when we got there, our cruise director, Ered, informed us that, because the juggler’s luggage had gotten lost at the Nassau airport, he would be unable to perform; so he and another entertainer had thrown something together.  Now, I say that to say this – Ered was a good cruise director and he didn’t have an awful singing voice.  But when he said, “We’re gonna have a sing-along, and we’re going to sing a traditional sea shanty,” I was done.  We were FORCED to sing along with all 80 verses of “What do we do with a drunken sailor?”  At which point, the Bradshaw family took off.  It was just too much.  We proceeded to make stupid sea shanty jokes the rest of the night.  Ask us, we can tell you the words.  The sea, speaking of it, was really rough because of the wind; we could tell because, as we were sitting at dinner, you could literally see other people, particularly your family, swaying back and forth.  Funny stuff.  It was like everyone onboard had been drinking, even those of us who were sober.  Lots of swaying.

Days 6 and 7 - Final Thoughts

Day 6 - Thursday (Sea World): A’lure, the Call of the Ocean

We knew that we were going to dock early in Port Canaveral and that we needed to get off so that we could travel the hour to Orlando to go to Sea World, so Thursday was another early morning.  We went to the gangway to find out that we couldn’t leave yet, so we popped a squat and waited on the stairs with a very nice family.  We then waited after we got off the boat for our rental car shuttle to show up.  The same family waited with us, so that we were the first two groups that were supposed to get on the shuttle.  When the stupid thing showed up, all these people swarmed the shuttle, trying to shove their way onto the bus/van thingy.  The little woman that we’d been waiting with put her foot down, told all those people that her family and our family were the first two groups there, and that it was only fair that because we had been waiting the longest, we were going first, period.  We made it to the rental car company (with me sitting on the wheelwell) and got our little rental car, a nice Mazda.  Dad got us some brekkie and we went to Sea World.  One of the first things we did, after we got there, parked, and took our picture with a penguin, was stop at a show, A’lure, the Call of the Ocean.  Sounds pretty cool, right?  Not so much.  It was vaguely Cirque du Soleil-ish, with tumbling and juggling and music, all of which was great.  The story sucked, though.  Which just provided more fodder the Bradshaw family joke factory.  We saw a show with a bunch of dolphins.  We went to see another show featuring Clyde and Seamore, two sea lions, also a walrus and an otter… and people.  The show was a comedy thing, which was entertaining.  Particularly when, half-way through the show, the actors/trainers got so cracked up because of stupid things the volunteers were doing or not doing.  One of the actors actually stopped, dropped character, said, “We’re gonna have to do this again,” walked back to his starting place, and fought his way through to start the scene again.  Particularly entertaining.  Otherwise, we saw lots of sea animals.  We saw some manatees, “the majestic sea cow,” and learned fun facts.  These are free, they will cost you nothing: Manatee females are fertile and can mate year-round, with multiple males.  So, really, it seems like if you need to pick a sea animal to be, the manatee would be the one to pick.  Good times for the manatee.  Mom and I fed seals, especially little seal number 65, who we fed most.  Dad and I fed dolphins, and got a little wet.  We ended the day with the Shamu show – Believe.  It was awesome, and cute, and as good as I remember it being, probably better.  Lots of whales doing good things.  We made it back to drop the car off, caught a cab to the port, and hopped on our boat in time to catch dinner and a show, this one with music from the radio of various time periods.  Another good show.  Well done.  We fought our way to stay awake until 11pm… when the highlight of Allie’s cruise experience began – the Chocoholic Buffet.  That’s right, an entire buffet comprised of items made of chocolate.  We’re talking full sculptures, like big houses, castles, statues, famous buildings, animals, etc, created only of chocolate.  AND food, all chocolate, other than the fruit set out to be dipped in a chocolate fountain.  It was like heaven in a buffet.  Due to the chocolate, we basically passed out when we got back to the room (and between Sea World and massive walking at Great Stirrup Cay, Port Lucaya/Freeport, and the Atlantis, and the nice, warm, sunny sun).  Sleep was good.

Day 7 - Friday (at sea): Cards, deep thoughts, and myths

Friday, we slept in late, because of all the sun-and-walking thing.  When we rolled over and realized that it was like 10.30-ish, we decided it would probably behoove us to get off our lazy afts (yup, you can see the jokes there) and go get brekkie, which we did.  Because there was really nothing going on during the early/mid-afternoon, we were sitting at this table in the sun, inside, twiddling our fingers, when Dad mentioned a library, with games, like board games and cards (deck 5).  We were in.  We tromped down to discover said library and retrieve said deck of playing cards before returning to our table in the sun (deck 9).  We proceeded to spend the afternoon playing rummy, which I kinda suck at (but I kept going out early, even with ridiculously pathetic low points), and spades, which Dad and I never need to be partners at (because we suck).  Lots of sucking.  Well, not for Mom and Allie, who beat the flipping pants off us.  When we got tired of cards, Mom began waxing philosophic about how small we were in the vastness of the ocean, to which Allie replied, “Yeah.  If the boat goes down, there’s no one to hear you scream… except your fellow passengers.”  Mom kept trying to reel us back in, which didn’t work.  Then we got on to the subject of Pirates of the Caribbean… there was a connection, I promise, I just can’t remember what it was.  Anyway, we discussed if we thought it would be possible to flip a ship using the method in the 3^rd movie – having people run back and forth on the deck in synch, creating momentum – and if you could do it with the number of people on board – and the physics behind it.  To which we decided to submit the idea to Mythbusters.  There was a crew variety show scheduled for later in the afternoon, so, after snacks and the beginnings of lunch, we headed down to the theater to see the show, comprised of four acts (not much of a show).  After a traditional Philippine dance, a traditional Winward Island dance, an Italian aria, and an interesting rendition of “I love the nightlife”,” we were treated to a display titled “Fountains,” which comprised some of the crew spitting on each other, much like fountains, set to music.  Both gross and, randomly, somewhat entertaining.  We then had our mid-afternoon naps (with me watching some more “The Dark Knight”) and then dinner.  Our last supper, as we termed it.  Post dinner, we went to the last show, a variety show with entertainers who had performed earlier in the week.  In addition to an excellent pianist/singer whose show we had missed because we thought he was somebody else (long story, our mistake, we pay no attention), the juggler guy actually performed, Edge, who was a nut, we didn’t get it.  In addition, and due to him telling a story earlier in a meeting about disembarking about making waffles and singing while he was doing it, our brilliant and stupid cruise director Ered sang a song he had composed about waffles.  Yup.  Thus ended our show.  On our last trip through the onboard shops, I mentioned that these drink glasses were really cute, so Dad, good padre that he is, decided to try to get some from the bar.  Apparently, he couldn’t get the glass without getting the drink that came in it, so he, my father, bought two virgin daiquiris, banana and strawberry, so that Allie and I could have the glasses.  We returned to our estate, where we proceeded to try to shove all of our newly acquired purchases (including jewelry, t-shirts, hats, and stuffed animals) into our previously full suitcases, a truly interesting time.  There was much stuffing and groaning and shoving.  Again, good times.  We had to sit out our luggage in the hall so that it would be ready for us to pick up when we disembarked.  After a final few moments of “The Dark Knight”, we went to bed.

Day 8 - Saturday (disembark): Saying bye and going home

We had to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get ready to leave the boat, technical term – disembark.  We actually didn’t think we were leaving until about 9.20, so why we got up at 7.00, I have no idea.  We actually made it to breakfast before we had to leave.  So then we were standing in the room, waiting for our color (Pink, the color of our tags) to be called.  We went from standing in the room, to standing in a hallway on the deck where we could disembark, to standing on the stairs close to where we could disembark.  Lots of standing.  Interesting times.  Sadly, we got through disembarkation and back to the house.  Back to the real world.

So, what did we learn?  What did we think overall?

1.   There’s not that much to do in Freeport/Lucaya.

2.   Yes, that bed can hold a person.

3.   Don’t eat burgers too fast.

4.   Don’t forget where your aft is (imagine all the jokes we made).

5.   Si.  Oui.  Queso.

6.   Sea shanties aren’t the answer to making the night a success.  What do you do with a drunken sailor?  We still don’t know. (But apparently shaving his stomach with a rusty razor, putting him in bed with the captain’s daughter, and throwing him in another boat till he’s sober are good ideas.)

7.   No more waffle songs.

8.   Who wouldn’t want to be a majestic sea cow?

9.   Parasailing – s’marvelous, s’wonderful!

10.                When all else fails, “The Dark Knight” is probably on.

No, seriously, overall, this trip was a HUGE Bradshaw vacation success.  We hope that you enjoyed taking the trip with us.   It probably took you as long to read this as it took us to think it up, maybe longer than the trip itself took.  We look forward to many more vacations with the fam and hope that you do, too.  Cheers.

Until later.

Whitney (and the family).

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